She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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