I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
