you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
