So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize