it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
