and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
