C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
