I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
