This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
