i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize