i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
