She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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