Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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