worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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