I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
