So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
