I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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