if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think people are normalizing furries
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