Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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