me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
