they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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