I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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