Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
