No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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