I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just gift wrapped bread.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
