STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
