I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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