i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize