Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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