Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
