she was so not down for the gang bang
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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