Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

In the future we'll all be gay

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.

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(281): View more from Texas

I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze

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(847): View more from Illinois

I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.

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(303): View more from Colorado

A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.

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