I checked into jail on foursquare
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
