if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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