i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
