WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
