Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
