If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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