i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
