Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize