I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
