I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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