I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
