wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
