HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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