he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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