You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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