sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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