Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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