i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
