butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
