shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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