Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
