I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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