But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
