You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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