What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
