He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
