There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Mom said you looked used
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
