Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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