I cockslap morals
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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