my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize