I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
