K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
