when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
