If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
