Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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