Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
